Can We Come Home?


President Obama today declared his thoughts on Gay marriage. ( He supports it). My blog is not about the political points he may or may not score with this, but more about what my Church says.

“Catholic teaching proceeds from an understanding of “natural law” which for them serves as the foundation for all correct morality but which most of the rest of society has long since abandoned.” Austin Cline

I chose Austin’s quote (and recommend you read his article as well), because it lays out without bias to either side the plain view of the Catholic theological thinking in plain english terms that even I can understand. Like most loving Catholics, I want my GLBT brothers and sisters to be able to have families as well if they so choose. Yet Natural Law would say One man and One woman. I have however a question.

Natural Law dictates that what is deformed should be left to die and for a long time, many cultures did do this. Other more compassionate cultures did not. However, how much a person could participate within the community was another matter. Deafness was seen as unnatural either by birth or by some other means later in one’s life except perhaps extreme old age. As a results it would be unnatural for those who were deaf or unsound, to marry.  This comes from the

Eighteen Treatises from the Mishna, by D. A. Sola and M. J. Raphall, [1843], at sacred-texts.com

 1. “When a deaf and dumb man marries a sound 1 woman, or a sound man marries a deaf and dumb woman, he may either divorce his wife or keep her, and even as he married her by certain signs [made before witnesses] thus may he divorce her in the same manner. A sound man who had married a sound woman, who afterwards became deaf and dumb, may either divorce or keep her as he pleases, but if she became afflicted with madness, he is not at liberty to divorce her. Should he become deaf and dumb, or mad, he may not divorce her at all. R. Jochanan ben Noori asked, “Why may a woman who became deaf and dumb be divorced, and a husband who thus became affected may not divorce his wife?” They [the sages] replied unto him, “Because there is a material difference in this respect between the two parties, for a woman may be divorced with or without her consent, but the man’s consent is necessary to render a divorce valid.”

This of course is no longer true. The Church was no different until the Enlightenment.  Before that Plato and Aristotle who both help build the foundation and philosophy of natural law believed that the deaf were incapable of outward signs of intelligence since otherwise all humans are born with a perfect abstracts and language within and it only takes time for these things to come forth. It took more than 1500 years after Christ before the idea of natural law concerning disabled people being viewed as a people, and even being allowed to do something as sacred as marriage which seemed so UNNATURAL between either those of sound mind and body and one of not, or two unsound mind and or bodies.

May I ask are we now wrong? Or did we evolve as we did in understanding God’s role in so many more things. For hundreds of years those who misshapen, unappealing, not understood were told to stay and shunned from the Church just as those who are Gay until fairly recently have been. We finally decided as a Church that being Gay in and of itself was not the sin, but to act upon it is.

Yet here we stand today, Deaf Priest good gosh, ten of them at lost count in the United States if I am not mistaken, DEAF!  Sign Language declared by the Pope to be a valid language (with no sound) to say MASS! How UNNATURAL is that to comprehend? Then, it is not is it. For how can God heal, if we reject those who suffer out of fear, those who are different. We NEED each other. Please, can we all come home, finally?

Nancy Louise


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When a Child is Gone.


Next to a child being killed, a child stolen is another petrifying fear that sits at every alert Mom and some Dad’s gut. Some parents are more blasé about it than others. My own sister was taken from a grocery cart and almost walked out of a grocery store if it was not for our Mom who just had her back turned for a second to pick something off the shelf had not seen the woman walking past her with my sister in her arms. I was with my Mom and shocked that something could happened with her between the two of us. She was supposed to be safe! From then on, any child with me, was alway, always within physical contact if I ever had to turn my head. My husband I have to say was constantly reminded, even as he reminded me he could hear. I reminded him, so could my Mom.

It was while we were homeless and among more unstable folks, that we became much more paranoid about whom and where our children were. So missing children are something that while my kids are no longer young children, it is something that still draws fervent prayers from me. I am aware that most of those taken are Custody disputes. There is one Missing Child however I have chosen to keep on top of until some kind of conclusion is decisively made. There is little I can do, except pray, and maybe because I live around here, keep my eyes and ears open. Doubt I will ever come across anything, but then, I won’t discount that either. I can at least keep the child before the Lord. It was August 10, 2009 that he was last seen. A child with cerebral palsy , Hasanni Campbell.

Missing Child
Hasanni Campbell, age 6 in 2009 age 5 or 6, his age has been reported as both. So he would be 8 or 9 now, if alive. This too is a form of Social Justice on a local scale. A local missing child. It seems his family life was badly fragmented, and being a little boy with disabled issues meant he got the shorter end of the stick than most. I have no doubt he was seen as a drain and 'nothing but trouble' by some. It might not have been spoken out loud, but that is the sense that many folks feel when there is someone disabled in the family. It is the huge elephant in the room or yard whenever people get together. Trust me, us disabled folks get squeezed all the time by that elephant. I finally decided to start riding that Elephant instead of standing in its, you know... 'shadow'.

So here is my challenge to you, pick ONE child from your area that is missing. Keep a page, photo, name and date of missing and pin it up where you look everyday. Say a prayer, check for updates. Even if its years down the road. If the child is found, give praise, but don’t think it is all over, keep the child in your prayers, because trust me, the kid gonna need it. That child will always be disabled, we just can’t see the wound. Just ‘adopt’ that child for your prayer, for life. Its a small thing to ask, but it is a ripple that spans out farther than you can know. If the child remains missing, don’t give up, because the family still aches and has no closure. Can you commit this for Christ?

I put my hand in yours in prayer.

Nancy Louise

To get a job, do I have to take off my clothes?


This should seem like a dumb question to most of us, but lets face it, when asked to do things like, show our facebook page to prospective employers, it kind of feels like that. Now I am savvy enough to know not to have anything provocative on my FB, and I have friends who are vocal enough to call me out if my content is out of line, to whom I give thanks for their support. That does not mean I want them to know.

If I am married and have kids
The state of my social economic life
What I look like in a bathing suit

Sleeping Beauty
"A little privacy here, I am a lady!"

My private eating habits (I like smelly fish and ethnic foods, all “loud, strong, and smelly”, but I don’t eat them on the job because they ‘offend’ folks).
My political views which I share with friends and family but don’t share with my professional contacts IN PERSON. Should they find out about it by sniffing about, thats THEIR problem, and their blame and they can not accuse me of “bring it on the job”.

Basically its looking for what I can be guilty of, before I do anything.

In case we have forgotten folks, in this country, we are INNOCENT until proven guilty. What we need to do is re-establish communications, learn who your neighbors are and hire people you know and get recommended. If the person is a total unknown to you and makes you nervous, ask them for their references. Then follow your gut. THAT is still legit.

Forget the sneaks and use the speaking. You would not ask someone to show their underwear for a job interview would you? So let people keep their dignity, and show their best. Expect they will keep that best behavior to their professional expectations and go from there. If they do show up in their underwear, ok, then you have a reason to ask for their FB page, other wise, lay off…

BTW I see this as a very local form of Social Justice, the kind where you stand up for yourself, and your neighbor.

Nancy Louise

Once The Egg is Cracked…


Brood-Hen
Mom and her eggs
“Once the egg is cracked, you can never go back, because the yoke goes black, and the chick lays flat.” I have no idea where I picked that up from. But it basically says, dead is as dead does. It also pretty much says what a lot of professional feel that once our own eggs (mental) is cracked, you are dealing with damaged goods and well its pretty much trying to contain the damaged till most people die an early death. Ugh, a few, a very few few, will succeed beyond wildest dreams to go beyond those expectations and beat all the odds. I am determined to be one of them or die trying. I mean if I have to die, I may as well die trying to live, right?

I know a number of mental health specialist. It is rather common for someone like me who both works with those who have mental health issues in my line of work (ministry) and who deals with such things herself personally. For those of you who might be slightly less educated about this, mental illness does NOT mean someone is wacko thank you very much. It can mean anything from a temporary mild case of disrupting depression or anger issues to horror problems of schizophrenia where they are never going to be able to care for themselves alone. As for who is wacko, that usually a media or personal judgmental sticky which is inappropriate and never accurate. There is also another misperception, that someone who is mentally ill must of done something to get that way. Oh really? I supposed if eggs had a thought they would chose to rot? The fact that so many with mental illness desire to die, not because they want to be dead, but because they want to leave the pain, should be a clue. The human being prerogative is to above all things, survive. When that is disrupted, something is seriously wrong. So what can cause such a disruption? Frankly I think there are primarily three major causes. I do not speak from a Ph. D. just from personal experience and observation.

Environmental Factors (Abuse being the primary one)

Physical exposures to certain viral infections (which then infect the brain)

Family Genes / History (Hard to separate the two sometimes).

Did you know that showing your Son photos of naked ladies (the Pornographic kind) before he is 18 is considered sexual abuse? Yep it is. [A parent who exposes a child to intercourse or deviant sexual behaviors or pornographic materials is abusing that child. New York State law now clarifies that such abuse is a crime.] Exceptions would be, unless he brought it to YOU to ask questions. Bringing him in to look at your stash however, is big no no. If this was a tradition that your Father did with you to discuss the birds and the bees, you are then combining a family history with environmental factors. A tradition that is actually abusive. On the surface it might seem harmless and male bonding. One can do the same thing at a museum too with out going pornographic and exposing him to degrading images. Things that could trigger problems down the road. Such actions might also signal a sign of deeper issues in the family one might not even be aware of, just the simple fact there is pornographic material in the house signals that.

I want to go a bit deeper here than simple pornography. What about sexual abuse that happens before the child is the age of 5? It does not matter if there was no physical contact, if it only happened once, or if the person who had it happened to them understood it was not their fault and figures they have moved on. The impact, dang nab it, is still life long and disruptive for life.  I was raped repeatedly starting at age 4. Now at that age, due to my undiscovered deafness and delayed speech, I was unable to tell anyone, anything. I literally had no vocabulary to say anything. I do however remember having a torn pee pee, and Mom rushingly bathing me one time and being angry about it. (I was 5 at that particular memory). Growing up I kept wondering if I was a virgin or not. Oh I did so want to be and yes as I learned more English a lot of the memories I had of my early years did get packed away. Interestedly though, I keep the ability to think without words fresh. I found it stimulating as an artist and writer to do so. It was another language for me and gave me insights for my creative self. Much talk or dismissal has been mention about such repressive and recovered memories. Just how validated are they?

For me, the validation is ironically in my own mental illnesses, my disruptive habits, and unhealthy body. All footprints left that festered from decades ago on a very young mind-body.  If there is an interest, I will write more about this.

Nancy Louise

Grow where you are planted
Grow where you are planted

Brood-Hen
Mom and her eggs

I know a number of mental health specialist. It is rather common for someone like me who both works with those who have mental health issues in my line of work (ministry) and who deals with such things herself personally. For those of you who might be slightly less educated about this, mental illness does NOT mean someone is wacko thank you very much. It can mean anything from a temporary mild case of disrupting depression or anger issues to sever problems of schizophrenia where they are never going to be able to care for themselves alone. As for who is wacko, that usually a media or personal judgmental lable which is inappropriate and never accurate. There is also another misperception, that someone who is mentally ill must of done something to get that way. Oh really? I supposed if eggs had a thought they would chose to rot? The fact that so many with mental illness desire to die, not because they want to be dead, but because they want to leave the pain, should be a clue. The human being prerogative is to above all things, survive. When that is disrupted, something is seriously wrong. So what can cause such a disruption? Frankly I think there are primarily three major causes. I do not speak from a Ph. D. just from personal experience and observation.

Environmental Factors (Abuse being the primary one)

Physical exposures to certain viral infections (which then infect the brain)

Family Genes / History (Hard to separate the two sometimes).

Did you know that showing your Son photos of naked ladies (the Pornographic kind) before he is 18 is considered sexual abuse? Yep it is. [A parent who exposes a child to intercourse or deviant sexual behaviors or pornographic materials is abusing that child. New York State law now clarifies that such abuse is a crime.] Exceptions would be, unless he brought it to YOU to ask questions. Bringing him in to look at your stash however, is big no no. If this was a tradition that your Father did with you to discuss the birds and the bees, you are then combining a family history with environmental factors. A tradition that is actually abusive. On the surface it might seem harmless and male bonding. One can do the same thing at a museum too with out going pornographic and exposing him to degrading images. Things that could trigger problems down the road. Such actions might also signal a sign of deeper issues in the family one might not even be aware of, just the simple fact there is pornographic material in the house signals that.

I want to go a bit deeper here than simple pornography. What about sexual abuse that happens before the child is the age of 5? It does not matter if there was no physical contact, if it only happened once, or if the person who had it happened to them understood it was not their fault and figures they have moved on. The impact, dang nab it, is still life long and disruptive for life.  I was raped repeatedly starting at age 4. Now at that age, due to my undiscovered deafness and delayed speech, I was unable to tell anyone anything. I literally had no vocabulary to say anything. I do however remember having a torn pee pee, and Mom rushingly bathing me one time and being angry about it. (I was 5 at that particular memory). Growing up I kept wondering if I was a virgin or not. Oh I did so want to be and yes as I learned more English a lot of the memories I had of my early years did get packed away. Interestedly though, I keep the ability to think without words fresh. I found it stimulating as an artist and writer to do so. It was another language for me and gave me insights for my creative self. Much talk or dismissal has been mention about such repressive and recovered memories. Just how validated are they?

For me, the validation is ironically in my own mental illnesses, my disruptive habits, and unhealthy body. All footprints left that festered from decades ago on a very young mind-body.  If there is an interest, I will write more about this.

Nancy Louise

Grow where you are planted
Grow where you are planted

If a pizza is a vegetable, can I have extra meat with that?


When I first heard that the law governing the crossing of cabbage from one state line to another was 27,000 words long, I was dumbfounded and wondered why. So I went and took a gander at it to see why. In doing so, I found the whole thing was a piece of American Folklore. The familiar quote went something like this.

“The Lord’s Prayer is 66 words, the Gettysburg Address is 286 words, and there are 1,322 words in the Declaration of Independence, but U.S. government regulations on the sale of cabbage total 26,911 words.”      National Review

So this brings to mind, how many words did it take to change a pizza to a vegetable for school lunches? The real coreof the story however, is less stellar for entertainment.

As for trying to pull the wool over your Mom or spouse’s eyes for Pizza being nutritious enough to beat out a salad, don’t bother. It might have much nutrients packed in that pasta sauce, but the grease from meat, cheese kill it. If you made it a whole wheat and mostly fresh vegetable with minimum cheese, then you are starting to talk more healthy, but what’s the fun in that? Now about that healthy burger, fries and shake. Would you believe a boca,burger, baked fries, and a smoothie, no sugar instead?

 Nah, bring on the Cheese fries and a chocolate shake, but don’t tell my doctor!
Nancy Louise