Newtown: Pictures
This photo of Newtown is courtesy of TripAdvisor

The year is 2024 Tommy Jones is twenty two years of age, Susie his younger sister is seventeen. It is a beautiful day and both are going about looking for Christmas gifts for their folks and stopping for a simple lunch together, enjoying each others company as Susie misses her brother who been away at college. Suddenly a lanky young man dressed all in black and a bulge in his jacket, and anger on his face is coming down the street,  car goes by and backfires. Susie dives for the sidewalk screaming, Tommy ducks down. Both realized it was a car, there is no gun. Even the young man was on the street, his girlfriend coming out of somewhere, yelling “I am sorry!” they hug and make up. For Tommy and Susie, the beautiful day is shattered. They entered the diner, order and try to eat. Tommy who was not at Sandy Hook but at another school while shaken is recovering slowly. Susie however, is a survivor from the school twelve years before. In a flash, 12 years of work to put distance between her and that day have been whipped and shattered. Her right eye twitches involuntarily, she is shaking. As the day and week goes by, she feels exhausted, jumpy, raw and hyper-viligent as she keeps an eye out for danger.

The above scenario is of course fiction, but not impossible. The day before the horror of that Friday, on Thursday I was accosted by an aggressive panhandler who was very drunk. I was not harmed and while shaken was able to walk away from it unscathed, mostly. Unfortunately it also brought back ferociously a trauma, a serious deep one over 40 years of age, that forever shaped my young brain as these young children in Newtown Conn. have had theirs shaped by the gunman last week. Depending on their personalities, life adaptions, support systems and a great deal of other things, will determined how well they recover from the trauma the survivors recover from. For these children, it is very possible some of them will have PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder), and maybe for life if the stress is not managed and taken care of properly. I hope not. Having PTSD for life is very disorganizing and disruptive in one’s life and can be quite disabling. I would hate to see any one of the surviving children who came out of this alive, also have a life of health, killed off, because of what they survived. Pray for them too, that in some measure, they can get back some of the small town they loved.

Peace,

Nancy Louise

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Sammy the task worker.

One of the advantages of being a writer/artist or as I like to say, a POET. Personal Observational and Evaluation Technician. I take what I see, know, experience and turn it into something others can do the same with. The none tangible and make it objective or objectified so one can work more to get a head, heart, and heat around it. So when someone told me a Mark Twain quote “the two more important days in your life, are when you were born, and when you figured out why.” I felt surprised. Doesn’t everyone know why? I mean sure when you are a kid you don’t know, but you figure it out pretty soon, right? Apparently for some people, it can remain a life long mystery. Mysteries are something I have about people, not purpose. How can people miss what is right in front of them? Your purpose, should you accept it (ok so I loved Mission Impossible, confession said!), is who do you love now? That is your reason for being born. You were born to love people. Your greater reason, is to push beyond those whom you love easily because they are there for you. To love those who are not so easy to love, and that includes yourself. Then there is the simple fact of, what are you to do with yourself, what are your skills? You need to ask yourself, besides the obvious “make myself oblivious with __________” you really need to know, what takes your breath away, anything? What makes you smile? Jesus was a really good story teller, from that, he taught. He was not a senator, computer programer, engineer or some other fancy name business man. He told stories that taught about life. Maybe you tell stories when you draw, or when you tell anecdotes about the game you just watched, maybe it from putting together a simple program to help make the garage door open and turn on the lights to the steps in the house too? What you do, is another way to love. That is the purpose of being here, to love. Love yourself, love others, love what you do, and most of all, love God. Yes, its that simple. So, realized that down to the toes you have and the end of the strand of every hair you own. Begin to realized that today, just like any day, is indeed the most important day of your life, because you love someone, just simply because you are alive.

To get a job, do I have to take off my clothes?


This should seem like a dumb question to most of us, but lets face it, when asked to do things like, show our facebook page to prospective employers, it kind of feels like that. Now I am savvy enough to know not to have anything provocative on my FB, and I have friends who are vocal enough to call me out if my content is out of line, to whom I give thanks for their support. That does not mean I want them to know.

If I am married and have kids
The state of my social economic life
What I look like in a bathing suit

Sleeping Beauty
"A little privacy here, I am a lady!"

My private eating habits (I like smelly fish and ethnic foods, all “loud, strong, and smelly”, but I don’t eat them on the job because they ‘offend’ folks).
My political views which I share with friends and family but don’t share with my professional contacts IN PERSON. Should they find out about it by sniffing about, thats THEIR problem, and their blame and they can not accuse me of “bring it on the job”.

Basically its looking for what I can be guilty of, before I do anything.

In case we have forgotten folks, in this country, we are INNOCENT until proven guilty. What we need to do is re-establish communications, learn who your neighbors are and hire people you know and get recommended. If the person is a total unknown to you and makes you nervous, ask them for their references. Then follow your gut. THAT is still legit.

Forget the sneaks and use the speaking. You would not ask someone to show their underwear for a job interview would you? So let people keep their dignity, and show their best. Expect they will keep that best behavior to their professional expectations and go from there. If they do show up in their underwear, ok, then you have a reason to ask for their FB page, other wise, lay off…

BTW I see this as a very local form of Social Justice, the kind where you stand up for yourself, and your neighbor.

Nancy Louise

Once The Egg is Cracked…


Brood-Hen
Mom and her eggs
“Once the egg is cracked, you can never go back, because the yoke goes black, and the chick lays flat.” I have no idea where I picked that up from. But it basically says, dead is as dead does. It also pretty much says what a lot of professional feel that once our own eggs (mental) is cracked, you are dealing with damaged goods and well its pretty much trying to contain the damaged till most people die an early death. Ugh, a few, a very few few, will succeed beyond wildest dreams to go beyond those expectations and beat all the odds. I am determined to be one of them or die trying. I mean if I have to die, I may as well die trying to live, right?

I know a number of mental health specialist. It is rather common for someone like me who both works with those who have mental health issues in my line of work (ministry) and who deals with such things herself personally. For those of you who might be slightly less educated about this, mental illness does NOT mean someone is wacko thank you very much. It can mean anything from a temporary mild case of disrupting depression or anger issues to horror problems of schizophrenia where they are never going to be able to care for themselves alone. As for who is wacko, that usually a media or personal judgmental sticky which is inappropriate and never accurate. There is also another misperception, that someone who is mentally ill must of done something to get that way. Oh really? I supposed if eggs had a thought they would chose to rot? The fact that so many with mental illness desire to die, not because they want to be dead, but because they want to leave the pain, should be a clue. The human being prerogative is to above all things, survive. When that is disrupted, something is seriously wrong. So what can cause such a disruption? Frankly I think there are primarily three major causes. I do not speak from a Ph. D. just from personal experience and observation.

Environmental Factors (Abuse being the primary one)

Physical exposures to certain viral infections (which then infect the brain)

Family Genes / History (Hard to separate the two sometimes).

Did you know that showing your Son photos of naked ladies (the Pornographic kind) before he is 18 is considered sexual abuse? Yep it is. [A parent who exposes a child to intercourse or deviant sexual behaviors or pornographic materials is abusing that child. New York State law now clarifies that such abuse is a crime.] Exceptions would be, unless he brought it to YOU to ask questions. Bringing him in to look at your stash however, is big no no. If this was a tradition that your Father did with you to discuss the birds and the bees, you are then combining a family history with environmental factors. A tradition that is actually abusive. On the surface it might seem harmless and male bonding. One can do the same thing at a museum too with out going pornographic and exposing him to degrading images. Things that could trigger problems down the road. Such actions might also signal a sign of deeper issues in the family one might not even be aware of, just the simple fact there is pornographic material in the house signals that.

I want to go a bit deeper here than simple pornography. What about sexual abuse that happens before the child is the age of 5? It does not matter if there was no physical contact, if it only happened once, or if the person who had it happened to them understood it was not their fault and figures they have moved on. The impact, dang nab it, is still life long and disruptive for life.  I was raped repeatedly starting at age 4. Now at that age, due to my undiscovered deafness and delayed speech, I was unable to tell anyone, anything. I literally had no vocabulary to say anything. I do however remember having a torn pee pee, and Mom rushingly bathing me one time and being angry about it. (I was 5 at that particular memory). Growing up I kept wondering if I was a virgin or not. Oh I did so want to be and yes as I learned more English a lot of the memories I had of my early years did get packed away. Interestedly though, I keep the ability to think without words fresh. I found it stimulating as an artist and writer to do so. It was another language for me and gave me insights for my creative self. Much talk or dismissal has been mention about such repressive and recovered memories. Just how validated are they?

For me, the validation is ironically in my own mental illnesses, my disruptive habits, and unhealthy body. All footprints left that festered from decades ago on a very young mind-body.  If there is an interest, I will write more about this.

Nancy Louise

Grow where you are planted
Grow where you are planted

Brood-Hen
Mom and her eggs

I know a number of mental health specialist. It is rather common for someone like me who both works with those who have mental health issues in my line of work (ministry) and who deals with such things herself personally. For those of you who might be slightly less educated about this, mental illness does NOT mean someone is wacko thank you very much. It can mean anything from a temporary mild case of disrupting depression or anger issues to sever problems of schizophrenia where they are never going to be able to care for themselves alone. As for who is wacko, that usually a media or personal judgmental lable which is inappropriate and never accurate. There is also another misperception, that someone who is mentally ill must of done something to get that way. Oh really? I supposed if eggs had a thought they would chose to rot? The fact that so many with mental illness desire to die, not because they want to be dead, but because they want to leave the pain, should be a clue. The human being prerogative is to above all things, survive. When that is disrupted, something is seriously wrong. So what can cause such a disruption? Frankly I think there are primarily three major causes. I do not speak from a Ph. D. just from personal experience and observation.

Environmental Factors (Abuse being the primary one)

Physical exposures to certain viral infections (which then infect the brain)

Family Genes / History (Hard to separate the two sometimes).

Did you know that showing your Son photos of naked ladies (the Pornographic kind) before he is 18 is considered sexual abuse? Yep it is. [A parent who exposes a child to intercourse or deviant sexual behaviors or pornographic materials is abusing that child. New York State law now clarifies that such abuse is a crime.] Exceptions would be, unless he brought it to YOU to ask questions. Bringing him in to look at your stash however, is big no no. If this was a tradition that your Father did with you to discuss the birds and the bees, you are then combining a family history with environmental factors. A tradition that is actually abusive. On the surface it might seem harmless and male bonding. One can do the same thing at a museum too with out going pornographic and exposing him to degrading images. Things that could trigger problems down the road. Such actions might also signal a sign of deeper issues in the family one might not even be aware of, just the simple fact there is pornographic material in the house signals that.

I want to go a bit deeper here than simple pornography. What about sexual abuse that happens before the child is the age of 5? It does not matter if there was no physical contact, if it only happened once, or if the person who had it happened to them understood it was not their fault and figures they have moved on. The impact, dang nab it, is still life long and disruptive for life.  I was raped repeatedly starting at age 4. Now at that age, due to my undiscovered deafness and delayed speech, I was unable to tell anyone anything. I literally had no vocabulary to say anything. I do however remember having a torn pee pee, and Mom rushingly bathing me one time and being angry about it. (I was 5 at that particular memory). Growing up I kept wondering if I was a virgin or not. Oh I did so want to be and yes as I learned more English a lot of the memories I had of my early years did get packed away. Interestedly though, I keep the ability to think without words fresh. I found it stimulating as an artist and writer to do so. It was another language for me and gave me insights for my creative self. Much talk or dismissal has been mention about such repressive and recovered memories. Just how validated are they?

For me, the validation is ironically in my own mental illnesses, my disruptive habits, and unhealthy body. All footprints left that festered from decades ago on a very young mind-body.  If there is an interest, I will write more about this.

Nancy Louise

Grow where you are planted
Grow where you are planted