This is not written in mockery, nor is this some kind of Onion copycat against the Catholic Church. I am Roman Catholic and I do write this in all seriousness. I murdered a slug.
Now that some of you have either stopped snorting or simply changed the Internet channel. Let me give you the drama that lead to this whole misfortune. It was summer in the Northern California Valley, the kind people like to tease about cooking eggs on asphalt. Thing is most don't seem to show cooking one on an iron manhole, those get hot too, really hot. I also was cooking a hot temper that August. Ready to head back to school packing my pocket knife which had a blade just over 3 1/2 inches long. I was ready to start using on a few people who been hurting me for so long and who were going to follow me from one school Junior high to High school. I spotted a slug, innocent in some grass that had been watered. I focused on a face of some I hated and fixed it on the slug and placed the slug on the iron manhole baking in the afternoon sun.
I relished for a bare second then realized it was a slug and cried no! I grabbed it and desperately tried to help the creature. It died and it suffered by frying to death. Something inside of me broke and I cried for years. When I became Catholic wanted to be absolved. No one wanted to absolved me over a dead bug. I finally asked to be absolved of the anger to the people I pretended was the slug. On that I was, but I still felt for the slug. Until I had a dream.
In this dream I met another Catholic who been brought up in China and whose world view was very much one of seeing thing like Buddhist do, even if you are not. In his hand he presented to me the still dead slug.
This soul, do you not realized it was a small sacrifice for you?
What do you mean?
You had wished to do bodily harm to others. You carried great pain, anger, and hatred in your heart. You were already killing.
Yes I know.
What happened when the slug began to die?
I felt great anguished for making it suffer. It had done nothing to deserve this.
Just as Christ did for us. Yes Did you feel Compassion?
And the hatred?
Much anger and hatred was there but it was blunted. I suddenly remembered again that life is sacred.
Imagined if you had used your knife even once or even attempted it. How things might have been different for you?
Oh yes. So in a small way, that little soul died to help you save your soul so God can use your time here on Earth in better ways.
I turned to body in my hand. I am so sorry little one. Forgive me. Thank you for teaching me.
The slug healed then turned to its own kind of Earth soul and left.
I understand now. I am absolved at last. I thank you my brother in Christ for you help in this.
I thank you my sister in that I can be of service. Until in Christ we meet again.
When I awoke another puzzle fell in place. The sin was greater that I wanted to hurt the people yes. But it took a small innocent creature to sadly remind me, that while I am capable of causing harm, it is not the way of the cross which I hold dear. And it took a slug acting the part of Christ to remind of that. Two days after the slug died, my Parents stumble across a Catholic School in our neighborhood they never heard about. It was the answer to all their problems. I was mad about not being able to confront my enemies. God by then was moving things to put me in his service... As for the knife, I still have it. But it only cuts salami and pine branches for s'mores.
For the Contact Form, I am sorry. I tried hand coding and all that and I still can't get it right. If you want to use it, bear with me to delete my names and put in yours. Smile... Thanks...