Today is now, there is no other time. To live at any other time in your mind is to be dead to what is real and true and abundantly available from God. Be present in the life here and all will be added unto you, for he is within you when you are within him in his presence. You must be present to access his grace in a way that you are aware of. This is not to say if you go about like a zombie on some days, you are out of his grace, it is only that I am saying, you can’t as fully live in his grace, if you are not living as you ARE and not what you simply wish you did in the past, or imagine you will be in the future. God meets you where you are at, but you need to meet yourself in reality of now.
Maybe you don’t like what you see right now. Are you sure you are looking at the full picture? The other day I was feeling so miserable because I had to ask a dear old close friend to move away from me (in a manner of speaking) so we can be apart for a while to heal. Not that either of us did specific damage on purpose to one another, but our past up bringing brought us to a point where I am no longer willing to accept being around actions of this person that constantly trigger anxious behaviors in me. Try as I could to minimized how those behaviors effect me, I finally had to admit, it was an environment I simply could not effectively contend with difficulties in. Our relationship is such we are much invested in it and do not wish to disregard our 22 years together. The irony is that it took much healing to even get to this point. Yet I needed validation that I was not the horrible meanie for even asking this loving person as flawed as I am, for space which requires a great deal of work on their part. Once I understood that the other person was in honestly full support and not just doing this to “help me get better” but because they could see the reason they needed it, I felt much better and less of a bully.
So do not assume that how you think you look is always the only way you are looked at. Nor that how another will see you is necessarily the full truth either. All people see things through lens of their experience, we cannot escape that. Being in love is never easy, be it with another life form (our fur children / friends for example), another human, or yourself, even God can be fraught with issues. Point is, you cannot deal with healing by hiding from it mentally in some other frame of time thought. It takes the guts of being here and now with support to pull together the resources needed to become whole. Even Jesus had to work, none of the miracles he pulled off were effortless.
This is a good list from all four gospels of the many healing (medical) that are recorded of what Jesus did.
Read them and you will see they took effort for the Son of Man to do them. There was no magic wand, so why should our own healing be any different. Knowing you are flawed, feeling sorry for your sins are all well and good. To use them or allow them to cause you despair however, goes over the line into sin. In other words, you just make the problem worst and sadly this is what often happens when people turn to drugs, food, drink, sex, or shopping to escape from it.
Live now, heal here, Be Alive.